Seems there’s been a whole lot of jibber jabber, and rightly so, about the traffic fiasco at Kentuck Speedway a couple weekends back. Why, if I was in that mess, I’d be hotter than a nest full of Yellow Jacket after a mower ran over it.
Now we’ve heard from a defiant Burton Smith and an apologetic Mike Helton. But that’s their M-Os. But what I ain’t heard are any possible solutions.
I’ve given this a bushel full of thought and willin’ to offer up these 5 solutions to fix that there nightmare so those fine Kentucky folk and visitin’ neighbors don’t have to go experience it again.
- Make everybody attendin’ the race come on a two wheel vehicle. That’d be a bike, a moped, motorcycle or one legged rollerblading. That should eleviate congestion, and hell, make parking much more compact.
- Hold the race over 4 different weekends… 100 miles of racin’ each. That’d put a hair over 25,ooo fans in the stands over each event, which seems about what they can handle. Of course, tickets fer the first 100 miles should cost less than the last 100, but Johnny NASCAR Probably wouldn’t agree to that.
- Hold the race at 4 different places at one. Ain’t sure about this one yet but sounds good and probably work.
- Hold the race in an undisclosed location. If people don’t know where it is, they won’t bother tryin’ to find it now will they!
- Study the infrastructure of the location before you assign it a big daddy race. Create a model simulation to be sure the place can handle the traffic flow. Train staff. Be prepared. Hell, hire the Boy Scouts! Be sure before ya make yer decision, ya know what yer agreeing to! And it will work!
Nah. That’d never work. I’m bettiin’ on Number 4.