NASCAR Drivers & Their Quirky Victory Rituals
Everybody knows how Carl Edwards does his back flips every time he gets a NASCAR win. Kyle Busch? He takes a bow. And after seeing Austin Dillon slidin’ on his belly across the grass like a one-finned flounder goin’ down a laundry shoot after winnin’ last Friday’s Camping World Truck race, it got me to thinking…
All drivers should have their “thing” they do when they win a race. Hell, they could even make a little extra green back by patenting it, too! Kinda like how NBA Hall of Fame coach Pat Riley did by patenting the phrase “Three-Peat” Dang, guess I owe’em a little cash now just for writing “Three-Peat”. Dagnabbit, I owe him some more!
Well, just ‘cuz, I started to compile a list of “moves” I’d love to see drivers do upon their victory… Here we go…
Jimmie Johnson – Why, he could one-up Edwards and not only do a back flip off his car, but plant it on the shoulders of team owner Rick Hendrick.
Clint Bowyer – He should just give Brian France a big, open mouth kiss! Oh, Win, Clint, Win!
Kevin Harvick – Run wildly swatting the air like he’s been chased by a swarm of bees. That’d just be funny.
Brad Keselowski – The Chicken Dance
Mark Martin – His famous “Mime Stuck in a Mine Shaft” routine. Ain’t never seen him do it? Ask him. It’s great.
Kurt Bush – Wish he’d do the “I’m a Little Teapot” thing again. Remember?
Denny Hamlin – Jump up & down and grasp at the air above him just like he can’t reach somethin’.
Dale Jr. – Fall to his knees, cry like a baby and reach skyward as the heavens upon up and rain ‘shine down upon him… ‘cuz that’s what’ll happen if he wins.
Jeff Gordon – Take over the PA mic and sing Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Was”.
Trevor Bayne – He could act out being carded at the beer store.
Juan Pablo Montoya – Hop in the crowd and “Slam Dance” everyone.
Jeff Burton – “Do the Bernie”
Boris Said – “Disco!”
Matt Kenseth – Just say somethin’! Yer so damn quiet!
Tony Stewart – Well… he can just stay grumpy.
What you think? Oh, do tell!