30 Awful Library Books That Are Hard To Believe Are Real

Unintentionally Funny Books from Real Libraries

Mary Kelly and Holly Hibner are public librarians in Michigan who’ve spent years behind the reference desk. They’ve put together quite an amusing website called Awful Library Books, which contains a hilarious, even sometimes disturbing, collection of library holdings that they’ve stumbled across over the years. Visitors to the site can also make submissions and, of course, comment on these eye-rolling pieces of fine literature. Below are 30 examples of the best books from their site, and yes, they are all very much for real.

 

Foreword written by Mary Kay Letourneau

how-to-get-teenage-boy

 

Author Jerry Baker: One very lonely, lonely man.

make-friends-with-your-fruit-trees-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

That could be taken a few different ways.

cheap-date-handbook-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Seriously? You really think that if you’re attacked that you’ll have the time and free hands to remove your bra to use as a weapon of strangulation?

101-weapons-women-self-defense-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Fun crafts for the whole family.

make-your-own-sex-toys-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Just don’t get it wet. You’ll stink all day.

knitting-with-dog-hair-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Where was this book when I was a teen?

Rules-to-be-cool-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Thanks, Doc!

nice-girls-do-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

He looks enthused.

understanding-drugs-alcohol-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Maybe if you had read “Understanding Drugs Alcohol” you wouldn’t be dancing with cats.

dancing-with-cats-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Satan is a Chubby Chaser? Who knew?

help-lord-devil-wants-me-fat-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

And I thought we just had to cope with his weight obsession.

coping-stanism-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Name three of the biggest threats to America…

communism-hypnotism-beatles-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Oh, grand. Just what I want to stumble across in the parking garage.

carma-sutra-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

File under “Creepers & Stalkers”.

Body-Watchin-is-fun-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

So wrong.

crafts-for-retarded-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

For all those times your taken hostage by a mulleted wanna be 80’s rock star.

surviving-hostage-situations-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Really? The horse couldn’t be named something else like Trigger or Brownie?

latawnya-naughty-horse-learns-to-say-no-drugs-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Chapter 1:  Xanax & Coffee

joan-bennett-how-to-be-attractive-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

How to get your ass kicked in high school.

tap-dancing-techniques-awful-library-books-bad-worst-vintage

 

How to get your ass kicked on the prairie.

manly-art-of-knitting-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

How to get your ass kicked in Milan.

italian-without-words-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

How to get your ass kicked by old, suburban gangstas.

gangs-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Careful how you use it. It can be deadly.

your-power-as-a-woman-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Yes, those crazy, amazing leeches.

those-amazing-leeches-

 

“Weeeeeeee! Nuclear War!”

nuclear-war-fun-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Think, think, think, think, think…

natural-breast-enlargment-mind-power-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Oh, behave!

medical-ethics-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

Perhaps that’s not powdered sugar on them there donuts.

diet-crime-deliquncy-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

As if the first five editions weren’t enough…

applied-secretarial-practice-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

If it won’t teach cats to balance my checkbook, I’m not interested.

educated-cat-awful-library-books-bad-worst

 

It’s all about the technique.

wrestling-for-gay-guys-awful-library-books-bad-worst

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