Failed Attempts at Trying to Look Sexy!

Trying to Look Sexy Never Failed So Hard

The goofball technicians at Team Jimmy Joe have scoured the planet to bring you the best of the worst sexy profile pic fails. From Bad Glamor shots to not hot Facebook and Internet Dating Site profiles, these un-seductive beauties clearly demonstrate what not to do if in you are in search of bagging a mate. Next time, if you’re looking to connect with a pleasant Russian, wear a nice sweater.

Seriously.

1. Over Compensating with Over Ripe Bananas – Not Sexy.

2. Cleaning Poop Off Your Shoe – Never Sexy.

3. Hello… Is it me you’re looking for? – Not Sexy.

4. Going Down on a Melon In a Trash Heap – Not Sexy.

5. Sexy! Hot! Cuddly! Crazy! Psycho! Insane! – Amazingly Not Sexy

6. Giddy Up, Buckeroo! Purple Unicorns – Not Sexy.

7. Toilet Habits – Never Sexy.

8. He’s not just a fierce ninja warrior. He’s a sensitive dishwasher, too – But Not Sexy.

9. WoW! Tell me those patterns don’t clash! – Not Sexy!

10. All Business During the Work Week – Stone Cold Fox on the Weekends – Still Not Sexy.

11. A Tryst With a Catfish – Bizarre, Twisted, Kinky – And Anything But Sexy.

12. I thought you stuffed an apple in a pig’s mouth.

13. Wow! He commits terrorist acts AND cleans house!

14. Circus Clowns – Never Sexy

15. He Has All the Right Elements But Needs to Work on His Fingerings – Not Sexy.

16. A Rainbow Connection –Not Sexy

17. Long, Hot Baths With Your Cat  – Not Sexy

18. Hey, Shakira, ya should have left that one under the sea – Not Sexy – Even if your bea is a young John Goodman.

9. A Boy & His Dolls – Not Sexy.

20. Hustler Magazine – The Russian Edition – Far From Sexy.

21. A Rose, a Gun, and a Frontal Combover – Keep tryin’ – Not Sexy.

22. Forcing the Public Pool to Close for Cleaning – Not Sexy.

23. If it weren’t for the beads, it wouldn’t be sexy.

24. Being Turned On by Natural Disasters – Mother Nature’s S & M – Not Sexy.

25. He Does Have a Sweet Ride – But the Dueling Furs Make It What? – That’s Right, Not Sexy.

26. Ventriloquism – Never Sexy.

27. Inflating Yourself Further With Implants – Not Sexy.

28. Mullet… Bandana… Denim – The Not Sexy Trifecta.

29. A Counter full of Not Sexy.

30. Chocolate Sundaes – Not Sexy – Not Without the Cherries.

31. At Least Smart Enough to Put a Newspaper Down – Nope, Still Not Sexy.

32. Effeminate Virginal Boy –  So Not Sexy.

33. An Underaged Gopnik Bathing Herself With a Post-Soviet Canned Cocktail  – Not Sexy

34. Bird Impersonations – Never Sexy

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SEXY FAILS